The last 2 weeks have been like that for me: As I go throughout my normal daily stuff I wonder what the point is and why I do what I do. It's not that I am unhappy in my life--in fact the opposite is true--but if there is a better way or a bigger reason, I am determined to uncover it and then put it into practice. And if what I am doing is meaningless or purposeless, I need to re-adjust.
A couple things have occurred giving me reason to question what I see and cling to what I know.
While the events are not for me to share, the results of my questioning and clinging are the purpose of my blogging over the next week or so.
Questioning What I See, part 1.
Why do you believe what you believe?
This is not a question for only Christians, though I believe it is extra important to know the answer when you claim to represent God. Peter tells us in 1 Peter 3 to "always be ready to give a defense to everyone who asks you a reason for the hope that is in (us), with meekness and fear."
Sometimes things come up that cause us to doubt something we once held strongly to. In Ephesians 4, Paul exhorts believers to become mature in their faith and knowledge so that we will not be "tossed back and forth by the waves, and blown here and there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning and craftiness of men in their deceitful scheming," but instead to grow in Christ by "speaking the truth in love."
The Lord lit a fire under me when a belief I held came into question. Admittedly, my initial reaction was one of anger and frustration, probably birthed from some form of fear. Each time I felt the heat rise in my heart, I prayed, and quickly remembered that the way to combat probing questions is with sound theology. Thus, I researched, I studied, I prayed, I listened to sermons; I read, I asked, I devoured information, and in the end I was ready to give a defense for my faith, and for my position on a tough topic. With sound doctrine reaffirmed in my heart, I no longer felt tossed and blown, but sturdy and steadfast, with Truth as my foundation, one that cannot be moved.
God often does amazing things through hard situations, no matter the level of difficulty. In fact, I propose He ALWAYS does amazing things, but I do not always notice them. This time I did. The passion and love for Truth, for Scripture, and for wisdom I once had slowly faded over the past years, to be rekindled by a question I have long known the answer too. But now the answer I have is not something someone told me, not the position of the church (it is, but that's not why I hold it), not a widely accepted practice, but a deep, personal learned answer to an important question.
And I am grateful.