It's Beginning to Look...

Curtains for a Cat

Yes, it's over the top. But I already had the fabric and the ribbon, and grandma had the glue gun, so it was free and over the top.

Thoughts at 1:15 am

Why am I awake?

Oh yeah, grading essays, making a schedule, looking at housing options, can't turn off my brain.

At MMA today Gabe learned the "Typewriter" or the "Ground and Pound." If you don't know what that is, don't look it up; ignorance is bliss this time. I find myself on one hand wanting to video tape one of Gabe's MMA classes and begging someone to take him on as a student when we move (most MMA studios are adults only). On the other hand, we watched a televised fight a few weeks ago, and I never, ever want to see my son in that ring cage. Ever.

Juliana has been very adorable lately. Even more so than normal. She says funny things, and does funny things. She's putting a lot together too. Tonight she wanted to be by my side all night. Literally. Anywhere I went she followed and stood next to me, imitating how I was standing.

Mckenna is so grown up. She talks grown up, acts grown up (most of the time) and is very capable. She and I made curtains for her cat's bed/play thing. Pictures coming soon. She used a hot glue gun, and grew agitated when I did things she can do. It's a habit I am working on breaking.

I told the school I grade for that we are probably moving. They are fine with that...they will just ship the essays. I don't think I could quit that job if I tried. Good thing I don't want to.

I get to see Juli J tomorrow. Sigh. I miss her.

If life goes according to our plans (and let's face it, life rarely does but this time it just might), our house will close escrow before Christmas, we could put an offer on a house next week, and we could move in 1 month. That. Is. Insane. And so exciting.

I really, really, really, really miss our students from Riverside. Lots and lots and lots. The hardest part is that I don't have time to text and email and call them nearly as much as I want to. It hurts. One young man got baptized. We missed it. That stuff is just hard, still dealing with that.

Sometimes hope is harder than despair. If you never hope, you never experience the crash of dreams that don't come true. We are in a hoping phase. We have put all our eggs in one basket--we are only pursing Chico and have said no to everywhere else. That's scary, and hopeful. Next Thursday we go back, and it can't come soon enough. I am a masterful optimist. That gets me into trouble, because the good I can see is not always reality.

Want to hear my list of questions that have no answers?

Assuming we go to Chico:
Where are we going to live?
Rent or buy?
What neighborhood?
How much money should we spend?
What should we do school wise?
Continue homeschool, move to the neighborhood with the best public school?
Try to get them into this great charter school that has limited enrollment?
How do moving companies work?
Are they reliable?
How can I arrange to have time to clean before my stuff arrives?
Is there any way to see all the people I want to see before we move?
Do I really have to change my address for one month? (The answer is yes, I just don't like it)
What if we get the job but can't find a rental that will take pets (likely, I have looked) or our house doesn't close escrow?

Those are the practical ones. These next ones are much harder.

Are my kids okay? They have done great since we visited our old house 2 weeks ago--it did not feel like home to any of us. But will they handle another (huge) change?
Am I okay? Am I going to move 10 hours away and then panic?
Will the youth group kids like us? They have had 3 men candidate already, and have bonded with each of them only to have them not become their pastor. Are they going to be stand-offish as a result?
How are we going to say all these goodbyes? We are excited, but it leaves so many people hurting. I hate hurting people, but I need to be excited.

What's keeping me sane, besides being insanely busy (that actually helps me) and my wonderful hubby and kids, is knowing that God is one in control of all this. I don't need to worry about tomorrow. I can research and plan and be responsible, but He has this all figured out, and I just need to be faithful and steadfast. I don't need to be superwoman.

TOUGH and Sweet

Yes, this is Gabe executing a Rear Naked Choke. Yes, that is a girl. Yes, I know. Yes, he helps her up, lets her go first, and acts like a gentleman. Yes, she is enjoying this match. ***disclaimer: no children were hurt in the making of this photo. In fact, the girl's dad is the photographer.

Gabe kissing baby Noah. Yes, it's a dichotomy. Yes, he can be tough and sweet. Yes, we know that's a deadly combination in a teen-age boy. Yes, we hope he stays clueless, it's what will keep him out of trouble.

Change, Children, and Chico

Three weeks have passed since I last posted. For someone who loves to write, and who usually blogs at least weekly, three weeks is a long time.

Change

 For that past three weeks we have been living with Dan's parents. We are so thankful for their big, mostly empty house, and their willingness to have us.

Our house in escrow. In the first four days it was on the market, we had 12 offers. We countered offered for five of those. The next day we got an even better offer and accepted it. One reason it was the best was that the buyers waived the appraisal contingency; you see, in this market the market value (or what value the offers come in at) and the appraised value are often different, with the appraised value regularly coming in low. We had been warned by many people who know to expect the appraisal to come in low. But God is big, so very, very big, and the first appraisal came in right at the purchase price, not the $15-20,000 lower we had been concerned about. That was something to be thankful for this Thanksgiving, for sure!

Children


We started moving when Juliana was only 4 months old--a little over 3 years ago. Prior to that we had lived in the same place for 7 years, the same home for 6.

From Oct. 2006 to July 2008, we moved 4 times, in 3 cities.

Then we bought our house, and planned to be there for a long, long time.

The kids asked regularly when we were moving again. We would answer, "We aren't." They would still ask, and sometimes they told us they wanted to move again.

But we were feeling pretty settled.

And now, we have moved again, almost 3 years to the day from our first move when Jules was a baby. Yikes! That's 5 moves in  3 years if you are counting.

This move has taken its toll on our children, although it may be hard to see as they are usually still their normal, happy selves. They are over sensitive to anything sad, especially if it involves families or homes. Night time brings many questions--questions we tear up at, ones we laugh at, questions we don't want to answer but we do anyways, ones we have no answers for. Those are the hardest.

Then there were four days last week that Dan and I had to leave them, and although we made sure they had tons of fun while we were gone, of course they missed us and had hard moments.

The good, fun, and exciting things they have done lately deserve their own post, so expect that soon.

For now, just pray for our beautiful blessings, that all the changes they have gone through, and the ones coming, will only strengthen our family.

Chico


Do you know where Chico is? I did, but I still had to look on a map to be sure I was right!

Chico is north of Sacramento, halfway between Sac and Redding. It's off the 99 freeway, 4 hours from Tahoe,  and about 4.5 hours from my grandma's house in southern Oregon.

It is the home of Chico State University, the national Yo-Yo museum, and more kinds of trees than I have ever seen.

For us, the most significant establishment in Chico is the church where Dan is a candidate for a pastor position. He and I spent 4 days there last weekend, where we met at least 100 people, had incredible meals with fantastic people, and got a feel for the church and the city.

And in another week or so, all five of us will be flying back up there to have one final candidating trip, where Dan will preach, be interviewed by the elder board, and get to meet a whole lot more people.

Lord willing, both we and the church will decide that Chico should be the new home of the Russells!
Well, we have already decided, and the pastors have too, but we need to go through this important, formal time where the church is involved in the decision.

Later...more to come on the job, the city, and our time there...for now I need to get some homeschool stuff done and grade some essays! But I left you with a completely adorable but unrelated picture of Mckenna dancing with Jadelyn at a wedding last summer.

Where have I been?

The truth is, I haven't stopped moving, literally.

One Friday we met with our realtor, and we had painted, packed, cleaned, grouted, swept, tossed, given away, and moved by the wee hours of Wednesday morning. Dan moved the last things out at about 3:00 am.

5 people. 2 pets. 2000 square feet. 5 days.

I think that was last week, but I am not really sure, and the calendar is packed away with Juliana's underwear, and my razor, and other things we can't find.

But it's okay.

In just a few days we have received many offers on it, which is exciting, and sad.

But we are okay.

That house, though it was in many ways our dream house, is only wood, stucco, tile and paint without us in it. It's only a house.

It's not our home.

It was, up until we left it, though, so of course we miss it.

But it's not our home.

Home is where Dan is. Home is wherever we lie down together and talk about the day.

Home is where Mckenna is. It's wherever I catch her reading late at night in bed or talking to her kitty in the sweetest voice.

Home is where Gabriel is. It's wherever he wakes up with a smile and wants snuggles, and wherever he is telling me all the little boy thoughts in his head.

Home is where Juliana is. It's wherever her smile brightens any moment, wherever her adorable voice calls out for me, wherever her singing can be heard.

For now, home is where my family is.

But being without a physical home (don't worry--we have a place to live, it's just not ours) has reminded me that this world is not my home.

In my real home--heaven--is a baby. A niece or a nephew who went to be with Jesus long before we hoped. We never got to meet this precious one; my brave sister-in-law endured a horrible miscarriage last Friday at 13 weeks, the details of which I will spare you. But suffice it to say that event reminded me again that this is not my home.

The Bible says we are wanderers, sojourners, foreigners on Earth (1 Peter 2). We long for heaven, as the earth itself does (Romans 8), because our souls know this is not home.

And yet, because we long for a home, we seek out and search for a place to feel at home.

I don't know where this journey will end.

I don't know where in the world we will find a church home, a city home, a house home.

But we are on a great adventure with God, and I trust Him to lead us.

For now, we find those feelings of home with our family of 5, our larger family of grandparents, aunties, uncles and cousins, and with our dear, dear friends. Until such a time as God reveals to us a place to go, we will praise Him for all we have, and all He has taken away.

And when we find our next home, I pray we remember, always remember, that the brevity of life, the suddenness of loss, and the seriousness of salvation requires that we hold tightly to our faith, and loosely to our plans. And that home, real home, is a gift awaiting us at some appointed day, where the blessings will banish all memories of suffering. Until then, we press on.

And we are okay.

Fall

I love fall. The one semester I spent in Illinois was an eye-opening 6 months (in soooo many ways); it was there I learned that I had never truly experienced the seasons. Everyday I would step out of my ancient dormitory and see that overnight the trees had managed to turn yet another, more brilliant shade of red, orange, or yellow.

It's not too surprising then, especially with my disgust for all things Halloween, that we are doing tons of fall crafts and nearly no Halloween ones. I did have Gabe make a bat flying in front a moon; of course, Gabe promptly named him "Batty." For my literal child, it fits well with his stuffed animals named: Spider Monkey, Puppy, Teddy, and Ducky.

I found some fun craft ideas, and combined them to make two at one time.

First, each kid took plain white paper and painted it in random patterns, but without a lot of mixing of color, in fall colors.

Then, to their great dismay, I cut off a piece and had them rip into small pieces the rest.

The hunk I cut off we made into leaves, which we then add glitter veins to; I might make the leaves into something--we shall see.

The little pieces we made into an acorn mosaic:

Gabe (far left) and Mckenna (far right) stuck around to put a frame on their crafts. Juliana did not. But she did learn how to spell her last name and how to write her numbers, and identify all the shapes this week--so I am fine with no frame.

I can see their personalities in their crafts...but rather than tell you all about it, I will just share a funny story.

Last week Juliana's memory verse was: God will cover you with His wings. We did all these fun hen crafts and some role-play about how a hen covers her chicks. I explained to Jules that God does not have actual wings, but that this verse is a picture of how He cares for us.

She said:

I know mom. But I have wings. I have super power wings.

Fast forward to today:

I often talk to my mom on the phone as I drive to my algebra teaching job, and today was no exception. This morning, for no reason (even the radio said there was no reason) the traffic was horrific. It took me 54 minutes, and it normally takes me 25-30.

As I was sitting behind a giant semi, parked on the good old southern ca. freeway system, I said to my mom: I wish my kids were here. They could use their super powers to blast the traffic away.

She said: Yeah, they really could. They could use their super powers to let you go in the carpool lane.

Touche, mom. I have been laughing about that one all day.