Should Have Chosen the Pukey Kid

I just learned how to unclog a toilet properly.

Seriously.

 

Daniel has always been the toilet unclogger.

But given the choice of dealing with the screaming, coughing-so-hard-she-puked, delirious-from-the-Albuterol child, or un-sticking the toilet that was not only stuck, but then used while stuck...


...I chose the toilet.

I am an optomist.

I had a fever.

I was delirious too.

And I had already been helping the child for an hour, and would get her back clean and fresh this way.

Or so I thought.

Anywho...here's an ungraphic tutorial for you.

{Because you can insert your own graphics of what the water looks like in a toilet that was clogged up all day and then used. Repeatedly. Despite warnings not to use it.}

1. Squirt a few squirts of dish washing soap in the toilet.

2. Pour a lot of hot water in the bowl. Fill the bowl about 3/4 of the way up. Use hot tap water, not boiling water. Boiling water can crack porcelin (no, I don't know from experience).

3. Let that all sit for about 10 minutes. Or 20. Or long enough to rescue your husband from your unreasonable, dizzy, unreasonable, grumpy, sick, unreasonable 4 year old.

4. Grab your plunger. If you don't have one, buy one. Today. Your toilet WILL get clogged.

5. Insert the plunger into the commode. The hole on the plunger should make a seal with the hole that the stuff goes down when you flush.

6.Slowly and firmly push down on the plunger. Then slowly lift it up, without breaking suction, and push down again.

WARNING TO THE NAIVE: Should you decide that I mean fast and furiously instead of slowly and firmly, you will need a shower and lots of laundry detergent when you are done. Because everything will be covered with whatever it is you were plunging. Trust me.

7. Repeat steps 5-6.

Once it all drains out, flush a few times.

Then disinfect the toilet and the entire bathroom, and possibly yourself, if you didn't heed my warning.

If you are me, climb into bed with previously mentioned sick child. Get woken up once an hour with her coughs.

In desperation, Google "cough relief."

Decide to try Vick's VapoRub on her feet plus socks.

Sleep for a few hours in peace.

Seriously.

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Why this method of unclogging? Soap makes things slippery, and has surfactants which make water wetter--loosens and breaks down materials. And, it takes away the odor. Hot water can more quickly disintigrate some things that might be stuck. Lots of water means more pressure on the clog. Slow and firm plunging with a seal between the bowl and the plunger means water is being pushed in and then sucked out, which should work to dislodge whatever is stuck.

THE END