I have loved this idea for a long time, so I am jumping on the band wagon and telling you all the things I most certainly, without a doubt did NOT do this week. **wink, wink**
I never would feed my children sticky, chewy, dye-filled candy that would stick to their teeth and give them cavities. Never, not even fruit snacks. So when a dental assistant told me that the only thing that causes cavities is not brushing your teeth, I most definitely did not buy a huge bag of gummy bears at Target to use as treats for my kids. Not me.
There is no way I dropped an entire bottle of apple juice in Fresh and Easy, causing the lid to break off and apple juice to splatter all over me, from feet to face. The apple juice then did not pour from the bottle onto the floor for a good few seconds before I reacted. Not me.
It would be overreacting to see an episode of "The Biggest Loser" and decide on the spot that jogging is not enough. So I did not do circuit training for 50 minutes one night, while watching 24. That would be overreacting and I don't do that. Not me.
Having 6 hours alone in one day would be unheard of for me. And there is no possible way I spent 2 of them at a mall, alone, using Christmas money to shop for clothes for me. Not me.
I do not have the world's greatest husband, and I was not surprised when he presented me with a gift spontaneously on Saturday morning. He most definitely did not use a run to Home Depot to go to a jeweler with the kids and buy me a diamond necklace. I am not that spoiled. Not me.
Everyone knows that swimming in the rain in February is preposterous. So it's absurd to think that we have spent the past four nights in the steamy spa while a chilly rain sprinkles on our head. We have not taught anything like that to our kids and I would not have enjoyed it immensely if we did it. Not me.
I did not use the words "knife" and "underwear" in the same sentence while talking to my littlest. As in, "Put down the knife and for the last time put on some underwear!" I could never have a crazy little child who would need those instructions. Not me.
It's not possible that after I (and then we) have chosen to not have television since 1997 I would end up watching 4 or 5 shows each week online. No way, not me. And one of them is most definitely not The Biggest Loser. And Dan is not addicted along with me at all. No way, not me.
2 comments:
I am shocked and appalled that you HAVEN'T done any of things at all! ;>)
I laughed OUT LOUD all alone in my bedroom about the knife and underwear. My laugh was first because I could see you saying it, but then I laughed because I realized that my time to say it isn't too far off!
Post a Comment