Valentine's Day holds no special, romantic meaning for us. My husband buys me flowers, takes me on dates, and shows me love regularly all year long; it's in my best interest to keep it that way rather than condense it to one day in February. Plus, the first 7 years of our marriage we were with our closest 100 youth group students on Valentine's Day, usually camping in tents in the rain, and rescuing those who didn't bring their rain flap. Uber Romantic.

But one year sticks out as the epitome of my lack of caring about February 14th, so I dug through the archives, and here you go:

So today I went out and about by myself.  We are going to a super fancy party on Saturday, and the dress I am wearing requires certain special undergarments. (This is me, trying to be appropriate with my choice of words). So I went into a certain store in the mall, which is known for it's pink striped bags. Let's call it Veronica's Mystery, if you catch my drift. If you don't, I am probably being appropriate for your sake. 

For some reason, there were a ton of men in there. There were few women.

This is a store I have been in 2-3 times a year for many years. I know this store, it's a girl's store, and if there are men they are usually with a woman. 

It was so weird. 

I couldn't find what I needed, so I asked a cute little girl (yep, I am old. Store employees look like cute little girls, not peers) for help and she was great. Very helpful. The biggest bummer is that nothing was on sale. Nothing. No deal on anything.

I wandered around--something I can do sans children--and made my way to the very long line, full of men, who were alone. The employees upfront called for a back-up cashier. Odd, that's never been needed before.

So strange. What is going on? 

The man in front of me was a typical guy. He was probably 35ish, had a wedding ring on, had clearly just come from work. He had an old school hair cut, seemed a little out of shape, and he was clutching his intended purchase tightly, wadded up in his hand. He was an odd shade of red, and I swear at one point he was sweating.  The line took forever, as each purchase was carefully wrapped and placed into the infamous pink-striped bag. The man in front of me picked up a bottle and absent-mindedly read it. He startled, and quickly set it down. Hmm, how to word this... it was massage oil that would not harm a person's digestive system. 

He and I ended up at cash registers right next to each other, awkwardly close together for any store.  I saw his purchase. Now, there are some beautiful things in this store, things I would not mind owning, but generally find to be too expensive for the length of time they are worn. This one he chose, not so much. It was peach (really, do they make peach clothes any more? I thought those went out in the 80's) and had old-lady lace. No joke, I think he either dug deep because the rest of what is in that store really is not that flattering on someone who has had a few kids recently, or he grabbed the first thing he saw that didn't make him pass out and ran to the line.

I was so bewildered. Then he was done, and his cashier said, "Happy Valentine's Day."

I dropped my wallet. No joke, and all the contents spilled out. It wasn't such a bad thing, it gave me a moment to compose myself.

It's Valentine's Day. The one day a year our usually peaceful, pleasant store is invaded by awkward, uncomfortable husbands who are trying to do the "right" thing.  The one day a year that there is no sale, too few checkers, and tension you could cut with a butter knife.

Once I recovered my belongings and stifled my laughter, I finished my purchase, off-handedly commenting to the young checker (seriously, can they hire 13 year olds, aren't there child labor laws?) that they "sure were busy today." She rolled her eyes, and said:

"Yeah, tell me about it. Last night I was supposed to be out of here by 11 and I didn't leave until 12:15. I can't imagine what tonight will be like."

It was already 4:00. I sure hope those guys get their shopping done soon. 

I made my way through the crowds of men-who-looked-no-woman-in-the-eye, and headed for my car, as that was my last stop. As I excused myself through another unusually long line of people, this time forming a line outside a store, I glanced up at the sign. "See's Candy." Geesh.

Dan, if you read this, let's agree to never, ever celebrate Valentine's Day. You are my love 365 days of the year. And, promise me, honey, that you will never go into Veronica's Mystery, because I do not want a peach old-lady nightie, and men's brains turn into mush, clearly, when they walk in only one day a year. Love you babe.

Creative Solutions in the Desert

Too hot to exercise outside? No Problem. Just find a closet,

Stand on the dresser,

Grab the bar and

Do pull-ups

If you are over 50 pounds, pout because you are too heavy to do it.

Better Than...

Gabriel loves to work on his headstands

His handstands too--and he is getting very good.

Mckenna's cartwheels are improving

And Jules's fearlessness serves her well, even without a ton of technique.

But it's her attitude that gets her far. 

Tonight, after doing her best handstand yet, she said,

"I am better than eve...."
wisely not finishing the word everyone.

Without missing a beat she changed her tune:

"I am better than myself!"

So with high fives and a lot of giggles we celebrated her success.

Hot and Cold

You change your mind like a girl changes clothes

Yeah, you change your mind like a girl, I would know

And you always think, always speak cryptically

I should know that you're no good for me

'Cause you're hot and you're cold
You're yes and you're no
You're in and you're out
You're up and you're down

You're wrong when it's right

You're black and it's white

We fight, we break up

We hug, we make up

'Cause you're hot and you're cold
You're yes then you're no
You're in and you're out

You're up and you're down

You, you don't really wanna    stay, no

But you, you don't really wanna go, oh\

All the Animals in the Zoo

Two California Condors competed for control

A Squirrel Monkey amused many with his antics

The Black Panther Prowled, Growled and Snarled (seriously, it was frightening)

The Puma paced, stalking his prey (that would be us)

Pandas perched in trees slept the hot afternoon away

An elusive Lioness only presented her profile, preferring privacy

Gigantic Elephants showed off smiles

But of all the animals in the zoo, my favorite were three moose...

Another Gabe Conversation

At the dinner table tonight...

Juliana: My new super power name is J-ago (pronounced Jay-ah-go).

Side note: we kind of got them into X-Men and the Fantastic Four, and our little girl kind of walks around with her hands out in front of her, palms flat like she is pressing them against a wall, "forcing" things. Forcing is her super power this week, or today, or for the next 3.2 minutes.

Mom: That sounds like Iago, that annoying bird from Aladdin.

Gabe: So, your super power is making annoying birds that fly around and hurt people and work for evil guys?

Juliana: Um, yeah!

Sometimes I wonder what we are thinking. Then I remember, we aren't thinking.

4-3-1-8

The final score.

4 to 3 to 1 to 8.

But who was victorious in this high stakes game of Princess Memory?

The picture says it all.

I am missing from the picture. Not even I can stop the 3-year-old Memory phenom.

Football in a Pink Dress

Focused

Wound Up

Perfect Form

Follow Through

Poised to Catch

Ow! Football Hurts!

Let's Dance Instead.

And that, my friends, is football in a pink dress.

Continued...

Read the previous post first!

As we rounded the corner in chronological order the cries for help did not cease.

Juliana stood on a step stool at the refrigerator with a cup in one hand.

The cup runneth over.

What we thought was the scraping of furniture was actually the ice machine crushing ice.

When we first got this frige the kids would occasionally get their cup stuck in the door with the ice or water running and realizing their need would cry for assistance. The trick was you had to push to get more ice or water to get it unstuck, which contradicted their instinct.

This was not the case today.

The cup was not stuck--it was in the right position at the water/ice dispenser-- and yet the crushed ice kept flowing. As I slid up next to Jules and grabbed the cup, I found it surprisingly difficult to stop the flow of ice.

That's because she was still pushing.

Seriously.

I used force to take the cup away from her. I dumped some ice in another cup, added a little water to her pile of frozen H2O, and she merrily drank her refreshing beverage.  It would seem that wrestling caused her to feel overheated and parched.

Gabe ate some ice off the floor.

Dan and Mckenna stood dumbfounded as I explained that the cup had not been stuck.

Seriously, we will just never understand.

Note to self: When little one runs and you hear loud noises, go.

Never a Dull Moment

This afternoon the 5 of us were wrestling on the bed--a common activity around here, usually filled with an even mix of squeals of joy and squeals of pain. Usually perceived pain, not actual pain. 10 minutes into the tackle fest our little one ran from the room. I noticed, but it didn't raise red flags.

It should have.

Within seconds I heard a door slam and then a strange noise. 

"Shh...everyone quiet. What is that?"

I should have raced from the room. I didn't. We just listened.

"It sounds like furniture moving," Dan said with a question in his voice.

Curious, but still without urgency, we all sat like statues and listened.

"Help! Help! Somebody help!" 

I would have leaped from the bed and raced to the other side of the house, but there were 2 children intertwined on top of me since we had only paused our activity.

"Go....GO!...GO!!" I shouted as the cries for help intensified and the strange furniture moving noise continued.

We untangled and raced out of the room only to find....

Can you guess?  

To be continued.

Not-Me! Monday

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to

her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

Let's just get the big stuff over with.

I did not walk straight into a pull-up bar at the park, fall on the ground, and wake up crying. I was not there alone with my kids and a friend of theirs. I did not decide that laying where I landed, on the wood chips, was the best decision, at least for a little while until my vision came back. I did not ignore the probable but never confirmed mild concussion. My eyes and nose are not swollen and a little black and blue.

I did not go with 27 people, including 6 jr. highers and 9 small children, to the beach, in charge of BBQ-ing dinner, and forget the grill, lighter fluid and a spatula.

(Me with a cool jr. higher at the beach)

I did not go to my parents' house for some R&R for 2.5 days only to take 30 phone calls, solve 3 crises, and answer 40 emails. I do not have a problem relaxing.

Glad we got that done with.

I did not come home from my parents' to find out that my husband had swapped the furniture from 2 rooms, including moving light fixtures. He wanted to paint too, but I could not remember the name of the color. He is pretty much amazing.

I did not BBQ chicken the other night only to realize the package and the chicken smelled suspicious, leave the cooked chicken on the BBQ in anger and heat up chicken nuggets instead. The chicken is not still on the BBQ 2 days later. That would be gross.

And I did not dump the bags from my trip to my folks' and from the beach trip in the hallways outside the laundry room thinking I would just do laundry from them, only to trip over them nearly a week later.

That's right, I did not.

Not Me! Monday

Turns out I have a little time for blogging after all. I came home early from our Youth Group Trip to Joshua Tree because my throat was getting more sore and swollen and my nose more stuffed by the second. I thought that breathing and swallowing might be necessities at a campground where the nearest hospital is...well, I don't know where it is...and I did not have hot water to make tea at my disposal all night long. Or a hot shower. Or any shower. There wasn't even running water. But that's another post.

The point is, the girls and I came home late Saturday night, and now, Sunday morning, we are curled up together on the couch watching a movie. I have had a hot shower and I have a steaming cup of coffee. I slept hard if not long, and now I am going to tell you all the things that I absolutely-positively-most-definitely did NOT do this week.

Grading 150 essays on Hemingway's The Sun Also Rises in 13 days may not be a piece of cake, but I did have to do it and I wanted to do it well. So, I did not brew Starbucks coffee--at 260 mg of caffeine per cup--at 9:30 pm so that I could stay alert as I graded. And if I had, I would never have seen Juliana's leftover chocolate milk from dinner at a restaurant that night on the counter and dumped it into my jolt of energy beverage. That's just way too "over-tired mommy-ish" and I would never do something gross like that.

Said beverage worked. And at 1:00 when I actually wanted to be sleeping I did not watch the movie We Are Marshall for the second time and bawl my eyes out as though I had never seen it. It's a football movie, and I do Not cry at sports movies. As sports movies go, though, this one might be inspiring, and I might highly recommend it. But have some tissues handy. You know, theoretically.

Speaking of movies, if Dan and I had a night sans children, we would go out on a very nice, classy adult date, right? We would have a lovely dinner with grown up conversation and then go see some romantic or at least funny movie, wouldn't we? So when Dan's sisters took our kids for the night we did NOT race out the door to make the last matinee showing of Wolverine. And I did not love that movie! Then we did NOT decide we were far too tired to sit at a restaurant and decide to just go home and eat leftovers. That would be a waste of free babysitters, we did not do that. And, for the record, we were not the happiest people in the world that night knowing our kids were happy and safe and we could sleep all we wanted--even until 10:00 the next morning. Not us.

When Mckenna was working on her vertebrate project on swans and needed to make a diorama, we did not dissect her last diorama, let her paint a pond where the barn had been, and teach her to fold origami cranes to use as swans.

Thanks for playing along. It really does feel go to let you in on those little things that we did not do this wee. You can read what other people did not do at MckMama's blog.

Photo-Filled Wednesday (?)

Missed "Not-Me! Monday." Too many pictures for Wordless Wednesday. What can I say? I should be back to normal next week. Except I have Jury Duty. Drat. "Normal" eludes me again.

Gabe was so proud he picked out clothes that "matched" his dad, 

and I performed "matching" hair cuts today. 

Take me out of the mountians, and I don't have such a black thumb!

Coupons for our fun date. We saved up coupons, went to 4 different restaurants (and sometimes I drove through while Dan went inside with another coupon), and picked good food like fish sandwiches, double cheeseburgers, and huge burritos. Before we left home we each guessed at how much we would spend. 

This is what we got! For $13.00 we got dinner and dessert for 5! Dan also got the closest to the total and got to pick how we spent the rest of the night--XBox and the spa.

Sledding Action

Tons of Snow+

People who love my kids=

Hours of sledding fun!

Look Closely...

Does anyone else find this amusing? I was researching space heaters today, and found this at the bottom of the page of one heater at Target.

Guests who bought this item also bought...

3 other heaters and a 6 pack of socks.

Brilliant, really.

Not-Me Monday

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

I have loved this idea for a long time, so I am jumping on the band wagon and telling you all the things I most certainly, without a doubt did NOT do this week. **wink, wink**

I never would feed my children sticky, chewy, dye-filled candy that would stick to their teeth and give them cavities. Never, not even fruit snacks. So when a dental assistant told me that the only thing that causes cavities is not brushing your teeth, I most definitely did not buy a huge bag of gummy bears at Target to use as treats for my kids. Not me.

There is no way I dropped an entire bottle of apple juice in Fresh and Easy, causing the lid to break off and apple juice to splatter all over me, from feet to face. The apple juice then did not pour from the bottle onto the floor for a good few seconds before I reacted. Not me.

It would be overreacting to see an episode of "The Biggest Loser" and decide on the spot that jogging is not enough. So I did not do circuit training for 50 minutes one night, while watching 24. That would be overreacting and I don't do that. Not me.

Having 6 hours alone in one day would be unheard of for me. And there is no possible way I spent 2 of them at a mall, alone, using Christmas money to shop for clothes for me. Not me.

I do not have the world's greatest husband, and I was not surprised when he presented me with a gift spontaneously on Saturday morning. He most definitely did not use a run to Home Depot to go to a jeweler with the kids and buy me a diamond necklace. I am not that spoiled. Not me.

Everyone knows that swimming in the rain in February is preposterous. So it's absurd to think that we have spent the past four nights in the steamy spa while a chilly rain sprinkles on our head. We have not taught anything like that to our kids and I would not have enjoyed it immensely if we did it. Not me.

I did not use the words "knife" and "underwear" in the same sentence while talking to my littlest. As in, "Put down the knife and for the last time put on some underwear!" I could never have a crazy little child who would need those instructions. Not me.

It's not possible that after I (and then we) have chosen to not have television since 1997 I would end up watching 4 or 5 shows each week online. No way, not me. And one of them is most definitely not The Biggest Loser. And Dan is not addicted along with me at all. No way, not me.

Wordless Wednesday

In Love

Do you know a couple whose names just flow together as if they were one person? Our wonderful, dear friends Mark and Audrey are like that. Around here they are not Mark.......and......Audrey, it's more like MarkNAudrey. All smooshed together. One of the very wonderful things about them is that they are not just MarkNAudrey anymore, although they were wonderful when they were. Hayden was born on Juliana's 1st birthday. The funny thing is that Audrey sometimes asks me how old Jules is, and I ask her how many months Hayden is. Seriously, since our kids share a birthday one year apart you would THINK we could figure it out(you know, add or subtract 12 months). But, no, we have mommy brain*.

MarkNAudreyNHayden recently bought a house bringing them within reach for us. They are a quick 20 minutes up the freeway ***can I get a WOOT WOOT*** and we plan on hanging out a lot more. They really need their own post, I could write about their wonderfulness forever. But for now, let's move on to last week.

I watched Mr. Hayden himself for a few hours while they worked on the new house. We already planned to write "The Contract"  when Hayden was born on Juliana's birthday, but after seeing them together, it's a done deal. Sorry kids, I know this is the 21st century in America, but can you say, "Arranged Marriage?"

Their version of wrestling. My version of cuteness.

 "Here Jules, eat my slobbered on chicken nugget. I love to share with you." If that does not spell L-O-V-E I do not know what does.

When I dropped him off at home he protested. I pretended it was me he wanted, but we all know the truth. I told Audrey it was no big deal, I hardly noticed there was another kid running around. She laughed, and said that if I dropped off my three at her house she would NOT say the same thing. We agreed she should get them in two's, and one of the two should be Mckenna, cuz she's more like a babysitter than a kid. 

*Mommy Brain is a technical term for the recuring loss of simple brain function. One suffering from Mommy Brain will often be found repeating simple phrases, searching for lost items, and scratching one's head asking, "Where did all these children come from?" When a Mommy Brain sufferer is alone in a store, do not ask them if they need help, even if they have been there for hours. It "might" be on purpose.